Look into loneliness or happiness as it be

I have been having an affair with a married man. Essentially I do not want to accept that I am not loved as much as his wife. Thus, we have had broken up few times already when I exploded. But we end up with coming back to the state that we see a couple of times a month.

Through the psychological approach I have learned that you need to focus on what you feel and think. It is nonsense to think what he thinks. I always wondered what he thinks of me. Now I stopped to imagine and presume his thought and attitude towards me. I still love to having a good time with him. That’s why we got back to see each other after the breaks.

But I am always feel lonely, being abandoned, and being ignored. My soul shouts “I want to be loved”.

For the last few weeks, my soul has been shouting. I have been feeling “I’m lonely”, “I’m lonely”, “I’m lonely”.

But there is happiness right here. I have beautiful, lovely and funny girls. I can cuddle them whenever I want. I can sniff their sweetness. I can feel the real weight of their soft and smooth body. They always care about me. I have been happy. I have overlooked at it.