Pleasure of my body, pleasure of my mind

I love dolphin-kicking in water. I usually go rap-swimming for 30 mins a couple of times a week. I make a flip turn, kick the wall, and dolphin-kick. This is one of my body pleasure.

I used to row a boat when I was a university student. I loved the feeling of moving smoothly on water. This is also a pleasure of my body.

I have opportunity of touching women who have variety of body shape, skin texture, and skin color. I enjoy touching them. I think all of them are beautiful and lovely. I feel pleasure in my mind.

But I have not found any pleasure more than snuggling with my lover.

Currently I have an intimate relationship with a married man. I priorities pleasure of my body over pleasure of my mind. That is the reason why I have not cut him off. My mind had terrible pain last year because I felt sadness of not being loved. He loves his wife and children. I am not in the territory of his love. This year, I have tried the psychological approach. Then I am getting focus on what I want to do, not on what he may think. This reduces the pain in my mind a lot. I do what I want to do, not what he may want. I still feel pleasure of my body when I snuggling with him although I sometimes feel pain in my mind. The sadness of not being loved merges from deep in my mind from time to time. Once my body stops feeling pleasure, I will cut him off. Of course, I want a man who I do not need to hide from others.

Hmmm. I keep looking for something better than snuggling with my lover.